


Farm Fornication

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Polyamory, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2019-10-12 12:34:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17467640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Doyoung and Taeyong got stranded in the middle of nowhere with no gas and a flat tire. Thankfully, a kind and handsome farmer just so happened to find them on the side of the road.





	1. Howdy, Partner!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doyoung and Taeyong have two flat tires, no spares, and there's no one in sight.  
> To make it even worse, Taeyong has the aux cord.

It was the fourth day on the road, and Doyoung was slowly going crazy. Since the second day, the only signs of civilization they'd seen was little gas stations on the side of the road, breaking up the monotony of empty green fields stretching out as far as the eye could see. But that didn’t stop Taeyong from having fun-- _he_ was in control of the music, and Taeyong was not one to listen to _chill_ music; Doyoung couldn’t count how many times Taeyong had played Britney Spears’ song Toxic in the last five hours alone. It was alright, though, since all Doyoung was focused on was getting where they needed to go. The boys were heading to NCity, largely considered the biggest party city right after Vegas, for a small one-week _vacay_ , as Taeyong had put it, away from their busy lives of working and studying. They only had a few hours to go, and Doyoung, who had been driving the whole way, was getting antsy. Doyoung was as focused on just getting there as Taeyong was to playing every single Britney Spears song on his mp3 player. 

The car beeped suddenly, but since Britney Spears's vocals were overpowering, they weren’t able to hear it. Another beep came from the car a few minutes later, and this time, the boys heard it. To make sure, Taeyong turned down Britney’s loud ass voice,  _don't you know that you're toxic_ going from deafening to just loud, and they heard it again. “What does _that_ noise mean?” Taeyong asked as he turned on his cellphone to see if he finally got some signal so he could be able to tweet about Britney's upcoming album.

“Uh, I don’t really know-” Just before Doyoung could finish his sentence the car started to slow down, “Ah _fuck_ , for the love of God, this cannot happening to us!” Doyoung knew what the beeping was, but he glanced at the gage anyway, and his stomach hit the floor; they were out of fucking gas.

Taeyong raised an eyebrow. “Sorry, but what?” Once Doyoung had guided their car to the side of the road, Taeyong hopped out, walking around the car to see what was wrong. “Well, we can still drive with a flat tire! I don’t see the problem here, anyway.”  Doyoung groaned, running his hands through his hair. Taeyong stuck his head through the passenger side window to stare at him. Doyoung didn't pay him any mind, mind racing: there were a few barns in the distance, so maybe they could go there and ask for help, but that was risky. They'd never been in this area before, and for all Doyoung knew, those barns were abandoned. Taeyong watched, thick brows furrowed with concern. “So... I’m guessing we can't drive with the flat tire?”

“If it was just the flat, _maybe_ we could make it to the next town,” Doyoung said, frustrated. "But we're out of gas, dude, that's what the beeping was, so _no_ , idiot, we can't-"

"Maybe if you were a Britney stan, this wouldn't have happened."

"Will you shut _up_ about that!" Doyoung said scathingly before he popped off, "Listen! I don't know what to do and I'm pretty sure none of us wanna get fucking murdered out here so how about you turn off that stupid music and actually fucking _help me_ -" Just as he was going to finish his sentence, once again, something is happening.

Both men turned at the sound of an engine, almost as loud as Britney, and saw a big black truck barrelling down the road toward them.

Doyoung paled as it pulled to the stop beside their little red car. It was dirty like someone had driven it through the mud more than once and never bothered to wash the thing afterward, and easily twice the size of Taeyong's small little hybrid they bought for half price. Better yet, Taeyong was  _still_ playing motherfucking Britney Spears; as the truck's passenger window rolled down, Britney sang the opening line of the chorus:  _Hit me baby, one more time!_ Taeyong, ever chipper, grinned. "Our savior has arrived," he sang, walking around the car to Doyoung's side.  It was barely worth the effort to glare at the back of his stupid, pink head, but Doyoung managed it. 

"We're going to fucking  _die_ out here in the middle of motherfucking nowhere, and it's all Britney Spears's fault," he seethed, turning off the music as the stranger in the big black truck leaned his head out the passenger window and--

"Oh my god," Taeyong whispered, quick, breathy. It's the same tone of voice he used when he found a coupon in their mailbox two weeks ago. 

The stranger in the black truck was fucking  _gorgeous._  From this angle, Doyoung couldn't see much, but he could see a sharp jawline, tan skin, a straight nose, and full pink lips.

"Howdy!" Handsome Stranger said, and his voice was a sweet Southern drawl that would make Doyoung's heart skip a beat if he didn't know for a fact that there are always more crazies out in the boonies than there are on city blocks. "Flat tire?"

It took half an hour, but eventually, Taeyong and Doyoung were squished together in the passenger seat of Hansome Stranger's truck, half on top of each other, and their car towed behind them. It wasn't until then that Handsome Stranger introduced himself.

"I'm Jaehyun, by the way," he said, flashing them a dimpled grin. In his ear, Taeyong gasped. Against his ass, Taeyong's dick twitched. 

"I'm Doyoung, and the pink freak is Taeyong."

Jaehyun, if that was his real name, laughed, showing off bright white teeth. Perfectly straight, of course. Taeyong pinched his side as hard as he could in revenge. "Freak, huh? Real rich coming from you, you dumbass blueberry."

Jaehyun laughed again, even louder. "He got you on that one, Doyoung," he chuckled, shaking his head. Smiling seemed to be his resting face. They went quiet for a few moments, just listening to the asphalt beneath the wheels and the wind rushing past. Then, Jaehyun spoke again, somber this time. "Here's the thing, boys..."

Doyoung did  _not_ like the sound of that.

"You've got a flat, and the way they're torn up, there ain't no patchin' them. Like a nail tore it to shreds. And as I'm sure you can imagine," he paused, taking a breath, knuckles white from how he gripped the steering wheel, "I don't happen to have spare Prius tires lying around." 

Taeyong's grip tightened around Doyoung's waist, grounding him, a warm weight. "So why not just tow us into town?" Doyoung asked, voice edging higher. "To a Les Schwab, or something?"

Jaehyun snorted, honey hair falling into his eyes. "The closest town is only 500 people. Afraid there's only a local mechanic in these parts, and, well, to put it simple, he takes the weekends off."  He glanced at the dash, and then, he met Doyoung's gaze. "And on Fridays, he closes at 4:00 pm sharp."

Doyoung didn't have to look to know, but Taeyong craned his head around Doyoung's shoulder and groaned. "It's fucking 4:30... what now?"

"Is there a hotel nearby?" Doyoung's voice was at least two octaves higher. 

Jaehyun shook his head, almost grim. "Not a one." Taeyong squeezed him again, reassuring, subtly pressing lips to the base of his neck in a soft kiss, even though Jaehyun had his eyes on them. "Which is why I have a proposition for you two."

Taeyong answered this time, almost eagerly. "What is it?"

His eyes turned back to the road as he spoke. "Well, I have a spare room, and I wouldn't want you two sleeping in a car on the side of the road until Monday, so... If you want, that is, you are more than welcome to stay with me!" And he flashed them that grin again, dimples and all.

Doyoung didn't hear Taeyong agree. He was too busy wondering how Jaehyun, with his handsome face and broad shoulders and sweet Southern twang, was going to murder them in his barn.

Twenty more minutes of driving followed, filled with awkward small talk and Doyoung lightly smacking at Taeyong's wandering hands until they pulled off the highway. A large, old-south style farmhouse came into view, easily three times the size of their little city apartment, standing two stories tall and complete with a large porch with a swing and a giant maple tree out front with leaves jade green under the summer sun. Off in the distance behind the house was a barn, large and red and perfectly stereotypical. "Doyoung, look," Taeyong whispered as Jaehyun parked the truck by the maple, "cows." And he was right--a herd of cows was lazing about in the field to the right of the farmhouse, ignoring them completely. There must've been at least twenty of them, just eating grass and blinking with those big brown eyes of theirs.

 _Fuck_ , Doyoung thought.  _We're_ so _going to die here._  

Jaehyun unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to grin at them. "Welcome to my humble abode, boys." Taeyong opened the passenger-side door and shoved him out, following quickly behind him, and it was then, in front of Jaehyun's beautiful country home, that Doyoung got his first real, good look at him. He was tall, roughly the same height as Taeyong and Doyoung both, but years of hard labor had made him just a bit broader in the shoulders, with well-muscled arms and legs so toned Doyoung could still tell, even though he was wearing old, bootcut jeans. They clung to his thick thighs like they were almost painted on, the same way his white t-shirt clung to his developed pectorals. If Doyoung saw a man like him in a club, he wouldn't think twice about bringing him home.

But this wasn't a club. This was a farm in the middle of nowhere with no cell service and a broken car. 

Jaehyun ushered the two of them inside and sat them down on his plush couch with a glass of sweet tea each, saying something about how "They just don't make it right in the North, you know!" Chipper and bright. Taeyong drank the glass like he hadn't had anything to drink for weeks. "I'm sorry to say this," Jaehyun said, and he really  _did_ seem sorry, warm eyes downcast, "but I've still got some things to do around the farm." He walked to the door, and, of course, Jaehyun's ass was just as nice as the rest of him. "Just make yourselves at home, you here? I'll be back in about an hour."

Doyoung nodded almost mechanically as Taeyong spoke. "Yeah, of course!" His voice was sweet, soft. "Take your time, we don't mind." He fluttered his lashes at him, and Doyoung barely kept himself from gagging.

Jaehyun grinned at them. "I'll see you later, then!" And out the door he went, leaving the door open.

Doyoung stands, setting the sweet tea on the dark-wood of the coffee table. He took in the room slowly; family photos on the mantel above the fireplace, an old Tv, lace curtains and mismatched furniture. No throw pillows, no weird lampshades, only a rug beneath the table and a stack of cat-themed coasters on the windowsill. The hardwood was cold beneath his bare feet as Doyoung walked around the living room, peering at each of these things in turn. From the window, he saw the highway, half a mile away down the gravel driveway. If they had to, they could run and hide somewhere in the fields. If they had to-

"What, exactly, are you doing?"

Doyoung jumped, spinning around to meet Taeyong's curious, judgemental gaze, standing behind him with his arms crossed over his chest. "Jesus, don't scare me like that!" He straightened up and moved to the fireplace, peering at the framed photos; a Christmas from Jaehyun's childhood, a second-place trophy for horse riding, and a few professional family portraits of a middle-aged couple and a teenaged Jaehyun. He had dusted recently. "You move like a fucking cat, you know that, Tae?"

Taeyong scoffed, coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around Doyoung's waist. "But seriously, though, what are you looking for? Think he stashes his condoms behind photos of his parents?" He asked, chin propped up on Doyoung's shoulder in an attempt to look over it.

Doyoung shook his head and broke from his hold. "No, dumbass," he said seriously, flicking Taeyong's forehead. "I'm _trying_ to make sure we aren't in the home of a modern-day Ed Gein."

Taeyong smacked his ass in retaliation, just hard enough to sting. "You know for a fact that I don't know who Ed Gein is, you weirdo." He walked away to the filled bookshelves, trailing his pointer finger over the spines. They were organized by color, a rainbow surrounded by wood. "I don't get why you're so worried. Cowboy seems sweet--plus, he's hot as fuck."

Doyoung glared at him. "First of all, Ed Gein is the guy who made lampshades out of human skin."

Taeyong gagged, wrinkling his nose. "It's disgusting that you know that."

" _Secondly_ ," Doyoung said, ignoring the insult marching past him into the brightly-lit kitchen, "you think literally every hot guy is a good person. Remember Junmyeon? That fucker-"

"Yeah, whatever, Do." Taeyong cut him off, scowling as he walked into the kitchen. "You're just paranoid."

" _Yeah_ ," he said as he opened cabinet after cabinet, "because we literally met like this guy, what? An hour ago? Two?" Finding nothing, Doyoung started on the drawers. Steak knives, cutlery, and was that Tubberware?

"You're paranoid because you haven't gotten laid in five weeks," Taeyong said flatly. This time, it was Doyoung's turn to scowl; when he turned to look at him, Taeyong was sitting on the counter and grinning, sultry. "I can fix that."

"It's hard to bring people home when my roommate's fucking everyone in a five-mile radius, Taeyong."

"Aww," Taeyong cooed, "were you jealous?"

Doyoung glowered at him, cheeks heating up. "In any case, we absolutely  _are not_ fucking in a stranger's kitchen. Haven't you seen Friday the 13th? Halloween? Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Everytime dumb young people have sex, the killer strikes. He'll be back soon, too."

"We have time." 

"We have less than an hour." Besides, there was no way Doyoung was going to get it up surrounded by cabinets and counters from the '80s and wallpaper with chickens on it.

"A blowjob only takes like twenty minutes, babe." Taeyong leaned back on his hands and winked. "We've gotten it done in less."

"Oh, fuck off," Doyoung groaned and walked out of the kitchen to search the top floor.

The steps were shagged carpet, warm beige, and the fifth step squeaked loudly beneath his weight; the walls, painted eggshell white, were covered in more photos from Jaehyun's childhood, along with a framed high school diploma. The wood handrail was painted white and perfectly smooth as he glided his hand up it. Taeyong followed him up, skipping that squeaky step, and together, they looked throughout the top floor; a bathroom to the right, a barebones bedroom with a Queen-sized mattress and floral wallpaper, and at the end of the hall, a locked door. "This must be his room, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Taeyong said, looking at the painting on the wall, an abstract swirl of blues and greens and yellows. "Obviously. Think you can pick the lock?"

Doyoung turned to look at him, trying his best to look as disappointed as possible. "What, want to see if he has a secret sex toy collection?"

"That's literally the only reason I followed you up here, dude." Doyoung rolled his eyes, but Taeyong grabbed his arm and pulled him over. "This is pretty, don't you think?"

Doyoung stared at him. "Since when do _you_ like _art?_ "

"It isn't signed, though..." Taeyong trailed off, eyes fixed on the swirling paint. "Don't you think it looks like the ocean?"

Doyoung squinted at the painting and slung his arm around Taeyong's shoulder. "I'm getting more of a tropical bird vibe." Taeyong snickered, elbowing him in the side. Downstairs, the front door slammed shut.


	2. Y'all Ain't Ready for This

Doyoung pushed Taeyong ahead of him, watching Jaehyun carefully as they descended the stairs. Nothing in his face indicated upset--in fact, he was grinning, cheeks pink and dimpled. Still, out of Jaehyun's sight, Doyoung kept a firm grip on the hem of Taeyong's thin polyester tank-top.  
"Find everything alright?" Jaehyun asked, cheerful, a sheen of sweat on his tanned skin.  
Taeyong smiled at him. "We did, yeah."  
"I'm sorry I only have one room..." Jaehyun rubbed at the back of his neck. "You sure it'll be alright? I can dig around in the shed and see if-"  
"No," Taeyong cut him off, "it's just fine."  
Jaehyun watched them for a moment, studying the way they moved around each other. "If you say so. There're extra blankets in the closet if you need them."  
Doyoung nodded. "Thanks."  
Jaehyun stood there for another moment, chewing on his bottom lip. "What do you boys want for dinner?"  
Together they said, "Steak."  
Of course, because God hated them, they were trapped on a ranch with a dozen cattle, a hot cowboy, and no steak, so half an hour later the smell of spaghetti sauce filled the kitchen, mingled with the scent of boiling pasta. Doyoung sat at the kitchen table as Jaehyun cooked with single-minded focus, stirring and spicing liberally. He could hear Taeyong bustling around in the living room, doing who knows what, and that was fine; he didn't need to have his eyes on Taeyong to know he was doing something that was probably a little more than slightly stupid.  
It was Jaehyun he was curious about, _worried_ about, anyway. What kind of guy invites two strangers he saw on the side of the road to stay with him for a few days? _Jeffery Dahmer,_ his mind whispered. Another voice, which suspiciously sounded like Taeyong, whispered its rebuttal;  _he's a lot cuter than Dahmer, though. Look at his butt, it's a masterpiece. I wouldn't mind if this guy ate me_.  
Doyoung wasn't sure which he agreed with, but they both had merits.  
There was a crash in the other room and moments later, Taeyong walked in with a triumphant look on his face, pulling an old, antique record player on a cart behind him. "Look what I found, boys!"  
Jaehyun turned and, for a moment, seemed uncomprehending, dark eyes wide with surprise. Then, he snapped out of it and laughed. "Where did you find that thing?"  
Taeyong plugged the electrical cord of the record player into the wall and then stood up, turning to wink at Jaehyun. "Where all the best things are hidden."  
"He means the closet." Doyoung pushed his bangs out of his eyes just so Jaehyun could see him roll them.  
"Exactly, yes," Taeyong said, and with a flourish, he pulled two vinyl records out from the bottom of the cart. "The Beatles or my queen, Dolly Parton?"  
Jaehyun chuckled and shook his head, turning back to the pasta. "Whichever is fine with me, Taeyong."  
Doyoung snorted and stood, walking over to the counter. "You shouldn't have said that."  
Jaehyun looked at him in confusion, but when Dolly Parton's sweet voice filled the room, he understood, lips parting in a soft oh.  
They stood there and watched Taeyong dance around the room, singing purposefully off-key as he spun around. Jolene played, the loudest thing Doyoung had heard since they got to the farm, and when Taeyong extended his hand to Jaehyun, saying, "Let's square-dance, Cowboy," Doyoung took over the job of making sure the spaghetti didn't clump into a ball at the bottom of the pot.  
He had to admit, they looked good like this, dancing around the kitchen, illuminated by fluorescent lights and the rays of the setting sun streaming in from the windows and bouncing off their cheeks. Their laughter intermingled, and until the pasta was done they danced like that, ignoring the songs playing in favor of trying to lead a dosey-doe at the same time.  
They sat around Jaehyun's strong, dark wood dining table, the spaghetti pot sitting in the middle of it. Not much was said; neither Doyoung nor Taeyong had eaten anything but barbeque chips and sour gummy worms in almost a week, and they finished their respective plates in record time. Jaehyun, on the other hand, was much slower, watching them as he twirled noodles around with his fork with something soft in his eyes that Doyoung would've missed if he hadn't glanced at him while getting seconds.  
Jaehyun reddened when their eyes met. "You two sure can eat," he said, looking at his own plate.  
"That's 'cause it's good," Taeyong said with a fork in his mouth, barely comprehensible. Doyoung pinched him.  
Jaehyun grinned wide, cheeks a pretty pink. "I'm glad you like it," he said with a laugh, pushing his bangs back from his eyes.  
Doyoung licked the sauce from his lips. "So, uh, how long have you had that record player?"  
"Oh, that thing?" Jaehyun waved offhandedly. Even with such a simple action, the veins in his forearm stood out starkly against his skin. "It's an antique."  
"How much did it cost?" Taeyong asked, spooning a third serving of spaghetti onto his plate.  
Jaehyun shrugged, his ever-present smile growing softer. "No idea. My parents bought it when they got the farm, way back when."  
Taeyong and Doyoung exchanged a quick glance; the lines around Taeyong's eyes tightened incrementally and Doyoung pressed his lips together in response. The three went quiet, and when Jaehyun finished eating, he stood, took his dishes to the sink, and walked to the record player.  
Doyoung watched him, the lines of his shoulders tense and from the corner of his eye, he saw Taeyong roll his eyes. Jaehyun changed out the Dolly record for the Beatles, and once again, music filled the room.  
This time, Doyoung knew the words.  
Taeyong laughed, shoving his shoulder. "Go on, sing for our host!"  
Jaehyun grinned as he sat back down. "I'd love to hear you sing, if you're obliged to."  
Doyoung's cheeks warmed considerably, but he sang, even when Taeyong pulled him up to dance. Throughout the whole vinyl album, he sang, even when he didn't know the lyrics and after the leftovers had gone cold. Jaehyun joined them, hands intertwining with one of Doyoung's and Taeyong's, and they sang together, out of breath and off-key.  
The whole time, Jaehyun smiled, but wider than before, so much so that his face could've split in two and his dimples looked as though they went a mile deep.  
On their way upstairs, after the dancing ended and while Jaehyun did the dishes, Taeyong elbowed him in the ribs. "Still think he's a murderer?"  
Doyoung elbowed him just as hard. "I think," he said as they entered the guest room, "that murderers who bring their victims home are charming at first." When Taeyong sighed as loud as humanly possible, flopping onto the queen-sized bed, Doyoung continued, puffing up his chest. "It wouldn't be good for him to reveal his cards so early, right?"  
Taeyong threw a pillow at him, just barely missing. "Go take a shower, dude, you fucking smell."  
If there was one thing Doyoung and Taeyong agreed on, it was that they were both massive, major idiots. Taeyong moreso than Doyoung, but that was neither here nor there. What was important, really, was that they both knew this about themselves, which meant that, usually, they were able to think once or twice before they did something majorly fucking moronic.  
Alcohol never helped anyone become smarter, though.  
It was on a summer night, and both of them had been fired. So they did what any reasonable adult would do--they got wasted. And, like a lot of people do when they're completely sloshed, Doyoung and Taeyong went to a tattoo parlor.  
He doesn't remember what happened after that, but the next morning when he got out of the shower... Well, Taeyong had looked at him as if he'd kicked a puppy or something. Jaehyun, three years after that sweltering night of booze and no good, bad decisions, was looking at him in much the same way, eyes wide and mouth gaping like a fish.  
"You..." He shook his head and tried again. "You...." Full stop.  
Doyoung tightened his grip on the towel around his waist. "I forgot my clothes," he said, gesturing to the guest room where his suitcase lay open on the floor. "Sorry."  
Jaehyun swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. His ears were cherry red. "Your back, uh."  
Doyoung nodded.  
"Did you lose a bet?"  
"Something like that," he answered, trying for nonchalance.  
"Why a playboy bunny? And..." Jaehyun licked his lips. "Why... _There_?"  
He placed his hand over the tattoo where it sat at the small of his back, right above his ass. "Oh, you know," Doyoung giggled, a hysterical edge to it. "Taeyong."  
Jaehyun nodded like that made sense. "Right, right... Well, uh." Jaehyun gestured, and Doyoung moved out of the way; when he passed, Jaehyun's ears were even redder than they'd been only a few moments before. He paused at his bedroom door and turned to look at him. "Well, I'll see you in the morning, okey-dokey?"  
Doyoung barely held back his gag reflex. "Uh... Okey-dokey, pal."  
Jaehyun let out a little giggle, nodded, and slipped into his bedroom, the door closing behind him with a resonant _click_.  
"He might be even dumber than us," Taeyong said, and Doyoung whipped around to see him standing in the guest bedroom doorway, wearing sweatpants and a shit-eating grin like the evil strawberry he was. " _Okey-dokey?_ " He moved out of the way for Doyoung to pass and shut the door behind him. "And what was that you said, hmm? _Pal?_ All it takes is one day in the countryside and you're already talking like them!" Taeyong fell onto the bed dramatically, shaking with laughter.  
Doyoung glared, dropping the towel and picking up a pair of boxers from his suitcase. Taeyong's eyes followed them as they slid up Doyoung's legs and over his ass, covering all but the bunny ears. "What was I supposed to say, huh? I just wanted it to _end_ , Tae." He looked over his shoulder at Taeyong, spread out and shirtless on the bed, pink hair a halo around his head, and paused. "Are those my sweats?"  
Taeyong propped himself up on his elbows. "You think it turned him on?" Those were  _definitely_ Doyoung's sweats.  
Doyoung rolled his eyes and turned away, pulling an over-sized shirt on. "I _think_ you have a problem, dude. You think everyone is as horny as you are."  
The bed creaked, and Taeyong's arms slid around his waist and just under the hem of his sleep shirt. "Think about it, man," he said, thumb stroking the skin above his hip. "He's gotta be our age, right? But there's no one around here."  
"So?"  
" _So_ , either he has no interest in sex, or he's real pent up, yeah?"  
"Get to the point."  
Taeyong kissed the skin beneath his ear. "The _point_ is that I saw how he looked at you, Do." His nails dug into Doyoung's skin. "He looked like he wanted to eat you alive."  
Doyoung shivered. "Let's say that's true--so what?" He stepped out of Taeyong's hold and sat on the edge of the bed. "We still don't know if he's crazy or not."  
"He made us _dinner_. He even  _danced_ with us."  
"He's trying to fatten us up, obviously, Tae. Haven't you read Hansel and Gretel?"  
Taeyong pushed him back onto the bed and crawled on top of him, pinning his hands to his bed. "Fiction isn't reality."  
"Life imitates art," he retorted, giving Taeyong a smug grin. "Now get off."  
Taeyong rolled off him, plopping on to the bed with a _thump_. "I'll get _you_ off."  
"Go to hell."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the short chapter! haven't had time to write.  
> thank you for the kudos and comments!


	3. Horsing Around

Doyoung's hands grabbed at Taeyong's waist, digging his nails into the pale skin. He hissed, pulling Doyoung's ear between his teeth and pulling; Doyoung groaned, hips pressing against Taeyong's in a desperate attempt for friction. "We shouldn't be doing this," he said, breathing heavy as Taeyong kissed down his neck. "The horse is watching us, dude."  
Taeyong glanced at him with his big, dark eyes. "You're the one," he said between kisses, "who thought it'd be hot to fuck in a barn."  
Doyoung threw his head back and moaned as he bit down on the skin above his jugular, hard enough to bruise. "What I say while horny really shouldn't be taken seriously!" He threaded his fingers through Taeyong's cotton-candy pink hair, scraping his nails against his scalp. "Remeber when I thought that we should fuck in a park? Remember what happened, Tae?"  
Taeyong trailed his hands up his bare torso, leaving goosebumps in his wake. "I remember you coming so hard you passed out," he teased, raking his nails back down Doyoung's chest. "I had to carry you home."  
"Yeah," he said, pulling hard enough on Taeyong's hair to make him gasp against his shoulder, a gust of hot air on his bare, cold skin. "After we ran from the park security half-naked."  
Taeyong laughed and kissed him hard, taking his jaw in his hands gently, like if he was rough Doyoung would crumble. Doyoung gripped at Taeyong's shirt, a concert tee from Britney Spears' 2005 tour he bought secondhand, and pulled him close enough that he could feel Taeyong's heart beating wildly against his chest. He bit at Taeyong's lip, sliding his tongue against Taeyong's. The tongue ring was cold as ice against his tongue, and Doyoung broke away to moan, scratching down Taeyong's back. He tugged at the shirt roughly as Taeyong pressed open-mouthed kisses to his jawline. "Take it off," he breathed, "Take it off."  
Taeyong giggled, pulling back far enough to take off his shirt. "Be careful, this is a prized possession!"  
Doyoung scoffed, running his hands over Taeyong's exposed skin. "A prized possession you pulled out of the bargain bin."  
Taeyong pressed close enough that they were practically nose to nose and grinned. "One man's trash," he breathed before crashing their lips together in another rough kiss, teeth clacking together. It wasn't a good kiss, and Taeyong tasted like metal and spit and just a hint of minty toothpaste, but even so, Doyoung didn't mind.  
Taeyong's hand, cold like ice, slid down into the front of his jeans and over his boxers, gripping Doyoung's half-hard cock, and he groaned into Taeyong's open mouth. Doyoung slid his hands down to Taeyong's ass and squeezed, thrusting up against his hand.  
Even in mid-morning, the barn was dark, light streaming in through little cracks in the wood. The rays turned Taeyong's hair from cotton candy to flame and lit Doyoung's hair a pretty teal. He skimmed the tips of his fingers over where the light played on the skin of Taeyong's back, marveling at the warmth radiating from him while Taeyong struggled with the button of Doyoung's jeans.  
He batted his hands away to do it himself, shaking his head. "Why are you trembling, huh?"  
Taeyong dropped to his knees, taking a moment to stare at the man before him, tiny waist and broad shoulders. "Adrenaline, dipshit," he said with bated breath, pulling Doyoung's jeans down to mid-thigh, dragging his boxers with them. Half-hard, Doyoung's cock bobbed around once free, only inches from Taeyong's nose.  
Above him, Doyoung stared with half-lidded eyes as he kissed the exposed skin of his legs. "If we're doing this," Doyoung paused to lick his lips, threading his fingers through Taeyong's hair and giving a tug, "then for the love of God, Tae, hurry."  
Taeyong gripped Doyoung's hip hard with one hand and spit noisily into the palm of the other. Doyoung's noise of disgust choked off into a moan when he finally, finally took his cock in hand, stroking slow. "Getting bossy, baby?" The metal stud in Taeyong's tongue glinted when he licked his lips, and Doyoung swallowed hard, throat dry.  
"Tae-"  
He looked up at Doyoung through dark, thick lashes, eyes black with lust, and took Doyoung's cock into his mouth. Doyoung's head hit the wooden wall with a smack, Taeyong's tongue teasing his tip. He snickered. "You were saying?"  
"If you don't suck my dick right fucking now, I'm never touching yours again," Doyoung said, breathless, and Taeyong promptly got to work.  
He took Doyoung's cock all the way to the base without issue, pressing his nose into the trimmed hair at the base and hollowing his cheeks. Doyoung keened, pulling roughly on his hair, his free hand scrambling on the wooden wall in a desperate search for anything to steady him. Taeyong pulled off with a loud, slick /pop/ and then dove back in, bobbing his head while his tongue swirled around the head of his cock.  
"Yeah, baby," Doyoung whimpers, toes curling, "oh _fuck_ , Tae..." He pushed the hair back from Taeyong's forehead, groaning when he met his gaze. "Keep looking at me like that, with those big fucking doe eyes, so pretty..."  
Taeyong hummed around his dick, taking hold of his balls and squeezing, pain and pleasure. The metal stud was cold against his tip, sending shivers down his spine. Taeyong continued on like this, taking him down his throat over and over again until Doyoung couldn't take it anymore. He pulled Taeyong off of him by his hair and up, shoving their mouths together roughly and tasting himself on Taeyong's tongue. He whimpered into Doyoung's mouth, pressing his hips flush against him and grinding on him.  
He fumbled with Taeyong's jeans, jerking down the zipper and pulling him out, hard and leaking. "Fuck, Doyoung," Taeyong sighed, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses along his jawline. "You don't know what you do to me, doll."  
Doyoung pressed their cocks together, jerking them off in tandem. "Actually," he panted, tilting his head to expose his neck, "I'm pretty sure I do."  
They did not notice the door creak open.  
When they returned to the farmhouse, the sun was just peaking over the distant treetops, bathing the fields and the house in warm, golden yellow. The door squeaked as Doyoung slowly pushed it open, wincing at the shrill noise, but the floorboards were silent beneath their feet as they crept up the stairs, and the shower, steam billowing out from the crack underneath the door, drowned out the noise Taeyong made when he slammed the bedroom door.  
" _Dude_!" Doyoung hissed, tensing up.  
Taeyong rolled his eyes, smacking his eyes as he passed. "It's not like we committed a crime, baby. Live a little."  
He sighed, sitting down on the bed. "Fucking in front of a horse might be a crime in this state, for all you know."  
Taeyong took off his shirt and threw it at him. It hit him in the chest, falling into his lap."That just makes me want to do it again!"  
Doyoung wrinkled his nose, throwing it right back at him and missing by a good few feet. Taeyong rolled his eyes and turned his back to him, showing off the scratches on the tanned skin of his back while he rifled through Doyoung's suitcase. "Wear your own damn clothes."  
Taeyong pulled on a striped polo, red white and green. "Your's smell better, though."  
"We use the same detergent, Tae." Doyoung held out the concert teeshirt in his lap, shaking the black fabric. "Our clothes smell the exact same."  
He grinned, showing off white, straight teeth, and crawled up on the bed beside him, crowding into Doyoung's space. "That's not true," Taeyong said, breath tickling Doyoung's neck. He held very still. "We use the same detergent, sure, but do we use the same cologne? The same shampoo and conditioner?"  
"We buy it in bulk, so yes." His Adam's apple bobbed in his throat.  
Taeyong snorted, rolling his eyes. "There's something deeper, though. Beneath all that," he lowered his voice, lips against Doyoung's ear, and dragged a single finger up the length of his torso, stopping to tap right above his heart. "Beneath that, we're different. Made of different things. Two halves of a whole."  
"It's a little early for philosophy, don't you think?" Doyoung pulled back to look at him, their noses brushing. "Am I the yin to your yang, or something?"  
Taeyong snickered, standing up and walking to the door. "Or something."  
The door shut with a creak behind him.  
Twenty minutes of staring at the ceiling later, Doyoung went downstairs, feet quiet on the stairs. Jaehyun turned when he entered the kitchen, his smile half-hearted. "Good morning," he said, turning back to the stove top. "Breakfast will be ready in a few, and I already made coffee, so help yourself."  
"Where's Taeyong?" Doyoung asked, reaching around Jaehyun to grab a mug from the cabinet; he might've imagined it, but Jaehyun stiffened, taking in a sharp breath. "Do you have creamer?"  
"Just milk and sugar, I'm afraid," he replied, and yeah, his shoulders were definitely tense, ramrod straight beneath his faded red shirt. Doyoung poured himself a cup, french roast, and watched him. "As for your friend, he said something about wanting to greet the day."  
Doyoung snorted, spooning a few lumps of sugar into his coffee. "That sounds nothing like him. He's more of a _sleep until noon_ kind of guy."  
"You two were up pretty early today, though." Doyoung stopped, the sugar spoon clinking rather loudly against the sides of the mug. Despite the birds outside and the bacon sizzling, Doyoung couldn't breathe.  
"You heard us?"  
"Only a little, don't worry. Went for a walk?"  
Doyoung nodded, feeling Jaehyun's eyes on the side of his face. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Jaehyun's ears, blushing a pretty cherry red. "We wanted to watch the sunrise."  
Jaehyun chuckled, shaking his head. "Is it different from the city?"  
Doyoung placed the spoon back into the sugar jar and turned around. Jaehyun met his gaze, honeyed eyes betraying nothing. "Well, yeah. There's no smog out here, no buildings blocking your way." Doyoung paused to sip his coffee, just barely sweet enough for his liking. "It's... Purer, almost."  
Jaehyun's lips curled. His ears were still cherry red. "If you say so, Doyoung."  
He sipped his coffee, sweet and scalding on his tongue. "The grass is greener, I guess."  
"Always is, isn't it?" Jaehyun looked away, back to his bacon, flipping the pieces over. "Do you like your bacon burnt?"  
"I do," Taeyong said airily, "and I like my eggs scrambled." Swiftly, he grabbed Doyoung's mug from his hands and took a long drink. Doyoung scowled, and Taeyong just patted his cheek. "Nice morning, isn't it?"  
Doyoung took his coffee back and promptly refilled. "Burnt is fine," he said and took another sip.  
"Good, because I burnt it all, and I don't have extra." Jaehyun placed the bacon on a paper towel, ignoring the way Taeyong snickered.  
It only took a few more minutes to make the eggs. Taeyong waited at the table while Doyoung stayed next to Jaehyun and watched him add copious amounts of cheese and pepper and then helped him carry their plates over. Taeyong grinned at Jaehyun when he placed his plate in front of him, eyed sparkling, and Jaehyun returned it, ears turning pink.  
Taeyong had that effect on people.  
"Thank you for the food," Doyoung said, picking up his fork. Jaehyun, eyes closed, just hummed, gesturing for them to start eating.  
Taeyong dug in without so much as a thank you, groaning with his first bite of egg. "What are you, huh? Some kind of beefcake celebrity chef, running from fame? How could you deny the world such culinary excellence?" He asked, mouth full of egg and cheese, cheeks bulging.  
Jaehyun opened his eyes and laughed, shaking his head, ears and cheeks bright red. Doyoung wondered if the rest of him turned that color when he was embarrassed, too. "Well, uh... Thanks, Taeyong."  
"I'm on to you, country boy." Taeyong winked at him and then shoved two pieces of black bacon into his mouth, chewing noisily.  
Doyoung didn't speak until he was done eating. "I'll do the dishes," he offered, standing to take his plate to the sink.  
Jaehyun grabbed his wrist, his grip firm. "No, you're a guest-"  
"And you made me breakfast." Doyoung pulled his hand away, ignoring the way his skin burned where Jaehyun had touched him. "Let me do it."  
"At least let me dry them," Jaehyun said, eyes pleading, and Doyoung sighed.  
"Alright."  
And they did, silently washing and drying with elbows bumping, listening to the singing birds and the gentle morning breeze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! It's been a while.  
> Sorry for the wait! We've been busy, to put it mildly.  
> You can find us on Twitter:  
> @dalgitaehyun  
> and @melonsoo  
> Comments and kudos are highly appreciated!


	4. It's the End Of The World As We Know It (and i'm not doing too fine)

Hi! This is Keily.

So, I'm orphaning this fic.

It started as a joke, to be honest. I mean, what's funnier than the idea of Jaehyun with a Southern twang? And it was fun to think about. Especially the part where Taeyong has a Britney Spears stan account on Twitter.

But after the first chapter, the other person who was writing this with me-who is wonderful, btw-stopped. So did us conceptualizing together. And when that stopped, honestly, so did my drive to finish this.

So, uh, if anyone actually wanted to see this thing finished, I'm sorry. It's just not as fun anymore, and I don't even remember where exactly I was going with it.

As always, if you want to follow me elsewhere, my personal ao3 account is @grittycupcakes, my twitter account is @dalgitaehyun, and my Tumblr is @k-e-i-l-y.

Bye!

**Author's Note:**

> We're two writers who really love NCT.  
> You can find us on Twitter at @sansweeties and @meionsoo :)  
> Please comment and tell us what you think! It would mean a lot. This is a labor of love, lol  
> One of us has a personal account for non-NCT stories; you can find those at @grittycupcakes


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